


oh no he's hot

by arsenicArtist



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Jean and Marco are married, POV Jean Kirstein, also i do not know ms monogamy lines WILL blur, and also some marco gay panic hour, but also they make plans to visit bakeries together, but its, discussions of mildly explicit topics, featuring jean kirstein's gay panic hour, few others get mentioned, high school reunion with the gang, levi and eren are fwb, so maybe dont trust their word, so only second hand, they admire the booty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29012412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsenicArtist/pseuds/arsenicArtist
Summary: Jean and Marco go to their high school reunion and promptly regret every "we should take a break from all the threesomes to focus on our selves and have us time" pact they've ever made. 'Cause by God, be careful who you bully in high school.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Erwin Smith, Levi/Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	oh no he's hot

**Author's Note:**

> hey......... ty for reading xoxo if u like it read the end note for more

Jean didn’t really expect much out of his high school reunion. He figured it’d probably be awkward, probably a lot of posturing from his old classmates, maybe he’d get to see some old friends. Hopefully that dickwad Jaeger wouldn’t show his ugly mug, and Mikasa, who he’d sorely embarrassed himself in front of so many times, would stay gone with him. 

But all in all, it probably won’t be a huge thing. He and Marco would make an appearance, people would ask about their wedding rings, and then they’d leave. 

And so far, it seems to be going just like that. Jean and Marco are taking a break by the punch bowl, chatting idly about various old friends, critiquing the ugly decor, wincing at the over-sweet taste of the punch. 

They’d ran into Connie and Sasha earlier, and made plans to talk to them more in the future, but otherwise it was turning out to be an awkward, boring night. Jean barely even had the chance to brag about he and Marco’s successful bakery. 

They’re startled out of their boring commentary by a loud crashing sound near the entryway to the gym, where the reunion is being held. The punch table is near the door, but direct visual is blocked by a support column holding up the track and mezzanine above the gym, so Jean can only see a toppled coat rack, and not whoever knocked it over. 

He and Marco share a look, seeming to think the same thing. They’re bored, might as well go see what happened. “Wonder who’s here,” Marco mumbles, and Jean shrugs. 

They round the pillar, Marco smiling politely and Jean seemingly neutral, if curious. Both of their expressions morph into shock once they see who’s arrived. 

Looks like Eren and his little gang decided not to stay gone. And fuck, Jean  _ really _ wishes they had, if they’re gonna arrive looking like  _ that _ . 

“Fuck- I’m so sorry, shit- do you need help picking that up? I should probably just help, here, hold on,” Eren babbles, bending and slowly, but effortlessly, lifting a metal coat rack holding at least seventy heavy winter garments. He keeps an eye on the ground under it, trying to see how many fell off when he knocked it over. 

As he bends, gravity pulls loose a few strands out of his fucking  _ man bun _ . It’s in a half-up half-down thing, but Jean can hardly think about semantics when it frames Eren’s face so sexily. Jean is married, and very committed to that marriage, but he doesn’t say anything when the both of them silently lean over to try and get a better look at Eren’s bent over ass. 

And by  _ god _ is it a nice ass. What the fuck. 

Eren kneels to help pick up the coats, the woman who volunteered to man the coat rack and entryway blushing as he hands them up to her. Jean would blush too, at such a careless caress and brush of Eren’s fingers against his own. 

And then Jean realizes exactly  _ who _ he’s having these weird ass first-crush type of thoughts about and is abruptly consumed with righteous and justice-fueled rage. 

“Oh, no,” Marco says, recognizing the look on his paramour’s face and internally mourning for the loss of a normal, boring high school reunion. 

Jean begins to march over, but then he recognizes the presence of other people and, in a marked difference from his highschool self, stops to properly analyse the situation. 

“Eren, you’ve already drawn attention and we just got here, come on,” a tall, but timid, man says from beside Eren, and it takes a second to recognize him as being  _ Armin _ . Shy, nerdy Armin, who’d sooner bury himself in grandpa sweaters and church shoes than wear something even mildly suggestive. 

Armin, who is now wearing a skin-tight, midnight black turtleneck and  _ leather pants _ . What the  _ fuck _ . His hair is grown out too, but he wears it up and pulled back, leaving only his bangs to cover his forehead and frame his face. 

“At least he didn’t punch someone.” Mikasa says from next to Armin, and  _ she _ is immediately recognizable, even without that stupid red scarf. Which, honestly, is almost as much of a shock as Armin wearing something that shows off even an inch of his figure. 

Her hair is cut short, so short it doesn’t even brush her neck anymore, and her bangs hang loosely in her face the way Eren’s used to in Senior year. Jean is beginning to wonder if he has a thing for bangs, and if he should as Marco if he’d be willing to grow his hair out. Just to see. 

She’s got a scar on her face, and through her visible midriff, several more scattered about. Jean thinks he sees a fucking  _ bullet  _ would scar on her shoulder. She wears a black tank top that stops just below her ribcage, and a black, strappy jacket with a bunch of pockets over that. Her pants are similar, and Jean remembers something about something called techwear Marco’s been into recently.

Eren stands up, rolling his eyes, and Jean just processes that Mikasa mentioned him punching someone. Looks like not all things change. He turns to them and starts taking off his own leather jacket, and seeing his back muscles through his tight white t-shirt is almost enough to make Jean drag Marco out of the gym right then and there. 

Unfortunately, horniness makes Jean just as angry as it makes him cowardly. And with Eren Jaeger, the anger has always won out first. 

“ _ One _ time, I punch someone in a coat closet  _ one time _ , and you guys-” Eren starts, before he’s cut off by a hand on his shoulder dragging him to turn back around. 

“Hey there, fuckmunch,” Jean says to a man he hasn’t seen in ten years, “you look like shit.” 

Luckily, any other greeting would seem odd for Jean, from Eren’s perspective, so he just laughs, pushing Jean’s shoulder away from him lightly and knocking his hand off. 

“Good to see you too, horseface, glad you haven’t fuckin’ changed,” he snorts. Which is odd, because last Jean knew that certainly would have started a fight. “And Marco! Hey, man, what’s up? Nice ring.” Eren winks at him and Marco laughs, taking the offered hand and pulling Eren into a hug. Marco’s always been a hugger. God, Jean loves him. 

“Hi Eren, thanks! And Mikasa, and Armin! So good to see you guys!” Marco says, and Jean notices the faint red tint under all his freckles. Oh, fuck, Jean bets he was pressed all up against Eren’s chest right there, the conniving bastard. Jean loves him  _ so _ much. 

“Hey, good to see you too!” Armin replies, and Mikasa nods amiably while Armin is pulled into a hug too. 

“Yeah, greetings or whatever,” Jean grumbles, hands in his pockets as he’s assaulted with unfortunate admiration for his former classmates. They’re just…  _ all _ so hot. Even fucking  _ Armin _ . 

“Oh, hush,” Marco says, nudging him with an elbow. Jean wraps an arm around Marco’s waist and pulls him closer, desperate for an oasis in all this unwavering heat. Except  _ fuck _ , Marco is hot  _ too _ , and there is never any relief in such a cruel world. In  _ Hell _ . “Maybe we should move away from the entrance? Wouldn’t want to get in anyone's way,” Marco continues, fretting and darting looks toward the door. 

“There’s tables and shit if you wanna have a seat,” Jean chimes in, squeezing Marco’s waist as he feels his husband's hand fall over his. He doesn’t wait for any of them to confirm they’d like to sit, starting to walk toward the tables anyway. He does walk to one with enough seats for the five of them, though. 

“Yeah, that would be nice, thanks!” Armin says, following them, “We are waiting for a few people though, so if it has enough room for three more, that would be best.” He says, and Jean frowns a bit, looking at them as Marco pulls his chair out for him, luckily at an empty table with plenty of room. 

“Thanks, babe,” he says to Marco before turning to Armin, “who else is coming? Don’t tell me you’re finally dating, you prudes.” Jean jabs, referring to how none of them had ever really joined in on the who’s-dating-who drama in high school. That is, other than Annie seeming to spend at least a month with each of them. That was weird. 

“Well, I mean yeah technically, but it’s not... eh, well, it kind of is, but-” Armin starts.

“It’s Eren’s boyfriend and a couple friends.” Mikasa finishes. 

Eren jumps in as they all take their seats, “He’s not my fucking boyfriend, how many times do I have to tell you we aren’t dating?” He says, pulling his chair up to the table and gesturing angrily. 

“I don’t know, how many times have you fucked, now?” Mikasa answers, raising a single eyebrow while Jean, Marco and Armin watch the back and forth. 

Eren looks to be trying to count for a second, and predictably cannot come up with a number. Jean knew he was stupid. “Doesn’t fucking matter! It’s a casual thing and we aren’t dating, end of story.” Eren smacks his hand down on the table, pointing at Mikasa with the other one. 

“Mhm. Your phone went off.” She retaliates. It’s effective, and Eren immediately goes for it when he sees the notification. 

“Oh, fuck, it’s Levi. They’re lost, the parking lot is stupid.” He mumbles, tapping away at it as Armin and Mikasa roll their eyes. Jean and Marco get the feeling this back and forth happens frequently. 

“So!” Marco interjects, “What have you guys been up to? What do you do?” Jean loves Marco, he’s so good at small talk. 

“Classified.” Mikasa says, and before Jean can even begin to process the implications there, Armin gives his own answer. 

“I run a bookstore!” He says, smiling and fiddling with his sleeves. 

“Yeah, and write award-winning scientific analysis papers on the side.” Eren mumbles from where he’s still texting. “I do odd jobs.” 

“Yeah, and sugar for your not-boyfriend on the side.” Armin retaliates, and  _ wow _ , Jean forgot about his mean streak. 

The husbands blink, expecting Eren to blow up, but he keeps his eyes on his phone and responds casually. “Yup.” He says, popping the p. 

“O-oh! Wow! That’s nice! What- uh- what kind of odd jobs?” Marco asks, voice unsteady. Marco would never judge anyone for their choice of income, and Jean knows his nerves come solely from how unfairly fucking hot the mental image is.

“Cleaning my pool and wearing very little doing it.” The table startles, all except Eren, as a short man in a suit, looking very severe, seems to appear from thin air behind Eren. It seems the conversational bomb of Eren’s revenue stream distracted them all enough for the arrival of their friends to go unnoticed. 

“Damn right, among other things,” Eren says, finally putting his phone away with a smirk. “Marco, Jean, this is Levi, Erwin, and Hanji, you guys, that’s Jean and Marco.” He says, gesturing to all of them halfheartedly. 

“Eren, your graceful finess with introductions continues to astound me.” Says the large blonde man, Erwin. He comes to stand beside Armin, who seems to be avoiding looking at him, and places a hand on the back of his chair. 

“I’m Erwin, as Eren said, and we met through Mikasa. I’m her boss.” Vague, and also confusing, but Jean isn’t going to ask. He doesn’t really want to, because these three newcomers are just as hot as Eren and friends, and cowardice seems to be winning out over rage.

“Hi.” Levi says, before dragging a chair around to sit next to Eren, and lifting his feet to cross his legs over Eren’s lap. Eren seems unphased by this, and rests his hands over them casually. 

“We met ‘cause I chop rich people’s wood when they can’t be assed to do it themselves.” Eren explains, and Jean assumes Levi is one of those rich people. Jean is now thinking about Eren chopping wood. Shirtless. And sweatily. 

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Hanji says, popping up behind them and slinging their arms over Jean and Marco’s shoulders, nudging their head between them. They both jump, not having noticed them sneak around due to their distraction. The distraction of thinking about Eren’s probability of having abs and giant pecs… “I met Armn through his papers! He’s got quite the brain, doesn’t he?”

“Oh! Nice to meet you too! Yes, ah, he does, if I can remember right.” Marco says, voice wavering as Jean just stares. Hanji sits in the chair next to them, thankfully not between them as they seemed to contemplate going for, and Jean just can hear Levi mumbling about cleanliness or something. 

Erwin’s voice is deep, and commands attention, so when he sits next to Armin and begins to speak to him, Jean can’t help but hear. “That sweater looks quite nice on you, Armin.” He says, and Armin giggles in response, almost  _ flustered _ . Jean is once again hit over the head with the absurdity of being attracted to a man who wore suspenders every day of sophomore year. 

“Thank you, Erwin, I thought I’d dress up a bit for the occasion,” he says, implying he doesn’t always wear such severe clothing, and Jean almost faints thinking about what he  _ does _ wear. The only images his mind is supplying are highly unrealistic, but will likely not leave his headspace for quite a while. Especially not once he tells Marco about them. 

His husband makes eye contact with him, and they seem to come to an agreement that this situation might just be a  _ bit _ too absurd to cope with any more. And he can’t forget about their resolution to go at least a month without inviting a third into bed, to spend quality time together, and if they sit at this table much longer they might start getting ideas about  _ orgies _ of all things. 

Jean opens his mouth to start making excuses to leave, but he’s interrupted by Sasha and Connie coming over to the table. 

“Holy fuck, did you guys get hot!?” Connie says, and Jean groans buries his face in his hands while Marco rubs his back, looking pained. It was  _ unspoken _ , damnit. 

“They totally did, oh my god!” Sasha says, pointing at Eren. “What the fuck!” She exclaims, walking over to hug them in greeting. 

“Aw, thank you?” Armin says, sounding unsure, “Good to see you guys!” And Jean doesn’t miss the way Erwin’s knuckles brush the small of Armin’s back as he leans up to hug Sasha. 

They exchange greetings and introductions, Connie giving them very obvious once-overs, to the laughter of everyone else. Sasha cops a feel of Mikasa’s ass, snickering the whole time, and the way Mikasa glares down at her afterwards, with Sasha’s wrist in hand, is probably hotter than any ass ever could be. 

That is until Armin gets up to go grab punch for him and Erwin, and Jean re-evaluates his standards for just about every ass he’s ever seen. Marco’s forehead lands on his shoulder and Jean pets his hair soothingly. No one’s ever come so close to second place in Jean’s ass rankings before. First is Marco’s naked ass, and second is currently his clothed ass. But, God, does Armin call it close.

They exchange more small talk, Marco and Jean finally getting to brag about their bakery, Sasha saying she’s taken up the family butchery, and Connie apparently works as a secretary for some big-wigs up in wall street to make money while he tries to make it big with his band. 

Eren mentions wanting to visit the bakery with Levi, citing his love of sweet things and Levi's love of critiquing things he was not asked to critique, and Marco comes up with a quick excuse that they won’t be free to make him something themselves for another two weeks, so he should come over after then. 

Their one month ban on threesomes ends in two weeks. 

Jean would  _ die _ for Marco.

**Author's Note:**

> im tryna post more quick blurbs like this one and ive got a few more ideas for this little universe so lmk if yall want a series of this sort of thing. it'll be in someone else's pov probably unless yall love jean pov idk. and yes ill write the secs if ya want. actually ill probably just write it either way cause i got the hots for erens big pecs


End file.
